Joan and Martha…
Dec 31, 2007 in snark
 photo credit: AP Photo/The Martha Stewart Show, Anders Krusberg |
“…discuss how best to prepare tissue samples from Joan’s last face lift as holiday appetizers.” |
Santa's Secretions
Dec 21, 2007 in humor
In the extreme off-chance that you were not aware, presidential super-contenders Dr. Monkey von Monkerstein and Dr. Zaius have joined forces to present the Zaius and Monkerstein’s Simian Secret Santa project. The interesting thing about this project is that you don’t have to be a simian to sign up for it! Even Homo Sapiens are allowed to participate!
So, what are you doing here? Go participate!
And whatever you do, don’t click on the sexy Santa here. Don’t do it! NOOOOO!!!!
Republican Dotage
Dec 17, 2007 in humor, politics, snark
 photo credit: Yuri Gripas/Reuters |
“Senator and Presidential Candidate John McCain (R – Lala Land) sits with Republican Apologist Joseph Lieberman (R – GiveUsBackOurVotes) during a recent political forum. Pundits are discussing a potential McCain/Lieberman ticket, which would place the collective age of president and vice-president candidates far higher than ever seen before, and would likewise constitute the first presidential bid that failed so miserably to have any clue as to what the American public actually wants from its president.
At least, however, one of them is even aware of the existence of the camera.” |
Bush Leans Left
 photo credit: REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque |
“In a remarkable turnaround, President Bush temporarily leaned to the Left today while speaking to reporters after a cabinet meeting. Unaware that her idea of “Left” is really quite “Right”, Senator Feinstein seemed excited about the development. Everyone else figured he was just a little tipsy.” |
Separated At Birth
 photo credit: AFP/Cris Bouroncle |
 photo credit: The Onion |
| “Remarkably similar, aren’t they? At least only one of them is a complete jerk-off.” | |
Ah am not Gay!
 photo credit: AP Photo/Alex Brandon |
“Ah’m just a Gawd-fearin’ Republican male. And ta prove Ah’m not gay, Ah’m gonna quit senatorin’.” |
Klingonian Tête-a-tête
 photo credit: AP Photo/Gerald Herbert |
“What say the two of us go back to my place from some racht and bloodwine after this meeting, Ms. Warf.” |
Guarded Conversation
 photo credit: AFP/Aamir Qureshi |
“The one on the right is yours for the evening, Your Excellency.” |
Seal Your Deal Today!
 photo credit: REUTERS/Michael Caronna |
Tired of having to go all the way to Alaska to fulfill your bludgeoning habit? Wish you didn’t have to get so cold when you’re out hunting for another piece of fur coat? Want to do more with a baby seal than a simple clubbing and skinning? With our new product, Notreally Seally™, you can fulfill many of your arctic fantasies in the warmth and privacy of your own home! Order now, and receive a free dinner at the home of Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens! |
International Secret Revealed
Nov 26, 2007 in humor, politics, snark
 photo credit: AFP/Pool/Claro Cortes IV |
One of the best-kept secrets of the modern era is that French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Chinese President Hu Jintao were actually Siamese twins, joined at the penis. Now, you know. |
I can't get mah husband ta read…
 photo credit: AP Photo/Judi Bottoni |
“…anything thicker than his ‘little president’ is long.”
A pity that she felt she had to exaggerate. |
Hillary Gets Star-Struck
 photo credit: Larry Downing/Reuters |
“Like, OMG, I know! I know! I’m standing right next to him! Oh. My. Gawd! He’s SO cute! I can’t believe it! Quick! Take a picture!” |
CAPTION CONTEST: What this campaign needs…
Nov 01, 2007 in humor, politics, snark
 photo credit: Larry Downing/Reuters |
1. “…is a REAL man.” 2. “…is a seriously large Long Island Iced Tea.” 3. “…is a big hug and a kiss.” see…you can probably do better than those. fire away! |
Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
 photo credit: Kevin Lamarque/File/Reuters |
Sorry. Just came across this photograph and…well…the title says it all. |
I'm beginning to lose my respect for potheads
Oct 05, 2007 in humor, opinion, snark
 photo credit: REUTERS/Benoit Tessier |
actual caption: “A model presents a creation by Dutch designers Viktor and Rolf as part of their Spring/Summer 2008 ready-to-wear fashion collection in Paris October 2, 2007. REUTERS/Benoit Tessier (FRANCE)” apparently, people get paid to make this shit. personally, methinks Victor and Rolf need to spend less time in the coffee shops in downtown Amsterdam and more time designing something that someone other than a completely tripped-out, high-society drug queen would wear. jaysus in a bucket, even my 8-year-old daughter doesn’t like THAT much pink. and i’m not even going to address the concept of violins as embellishment. it would look pretty awesome at a Metallica concert, though.  at least it’s ‘ready-to-wear’. that’s reassuring…. |
