Jan 16, 2008 in snark
photo credit: AFP/Mandel Ngan
Gah. As if there wasn’t enough about him to be embarrassed about, we also have to worry about presidential handlers that thought a sweater looked ‘presidential’. Or are we actually supposed to believe the little man dressed himself?
Jan 16, 2008 in snark
photo credit: REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque
“It is like this, you see. We do what we want in our own countries. And in your country, where most fifth graders have more common sense than you, they do what they want as well.”
Jan 15, 2008 in snark
photo credit: Brooks Kraft / Time
“Ya’ll got any…uh…’powdered sugar’ back there? Ah like ta start mah day wiff a good snort, if ya know whut Ah mean!”
Jan 15, 2008 in snark
photo credit: Brooks Kraft / Time
“Okay, ladies. After these photos, let’s head back to my hotel and get it on! All except that one lady with the beard, anyway!
Whuh? He’s a whut?
Oh! Damn, that’s great! You bring along some o’ them little altar boys for the VeePee, then! Helluva deal!”
Jan 15, 2008 in snark
photo credit: Brooks Kraft / Time
“Wait a minute. Wait a damn minute! Did this stupid, drunken bastard really just tell me how I ought to run my country?”
photo credit: REUTERS/Larry Downing
“Pull mah finner!”
 photo credit: AP Photo/Duane A. Laverty |
“Overcoats by Hefty. Moron by Barbara. Complacency by Xanax. Irrelevance by Cocaine.“ |
 photo credit: REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque |
“…how ‘Santa Cheney’ sat him down on his lap before they ‘went for a little ride.’” |
 photo credit: Larry Downing/Reuters |
“Heh-heh-heh. That one always cracks meh up!” |
Dec 18, 2007 in snark
 photo credit: REUTERS/Kevin Lamarque |
“…Ah always thawt ya’ll sat at the pianner, not sat th’pianner on yeh!” |
Dec 17, 2007 in humor, politics, snark
 photo credit: Yuri Gripas/Reuters |
“Senator and Presidential Candidate John McCain (R – Lala Land) sits with Republican Apologist Joseph Lieberman (R – GiveUsBackOurVotes) during a recent political forum. Pundits are discussing a potential McCain/Lieberman ticket, which would place the collective age of president and vice-president candidates far higher than ever seen before, and would likewise constitute the first presidential bid that failed so miserably to have any clue as to what the American public actually wants from its president.
At least, however, one of them is even aware of the existence of the camera.” |
 photo credit:AP Photo/Ron Edmonds |
“Mr. President, will you be my daddy for Christmas?”
“Hell, no, boy. Yer just here for the cameras. ‘Sides, you already got a daddy.” “No, sir, I swear I don’t. Momma says I ain’t never had a daddy.” “. . . .” “Well, it’s like this, see? I’m too old ta be yer daddy. Besides, I couldn’t take you to none of the clubs I belong to.” “Why’s that, Mr. President?” “Heh.heh.heh. Let’s just say mah clubs ain’t very colorful.” “Oh, I get it. You really ARE as evil as Momma says.” “Where IS yer momma, boy? Ah’m pretty shore sumpin’ needs cleanin’ somewhere.” “That’s funny, Mr. President. Momma says no amount of scrubbin’ll ever get the Oval Office clean after eight years of your filth.” “Now waitaminnit, boy. A couple o’ seconds ago, you was wantin’ me to be yer daddy. Now yer dissin’ me right ta mah face!” “Yup, that’s right. I’ve always wanted to bust my daddy in the balls since he walked out on Momma and me. But since you screwed up everything else in our lives, I figured I’d try bustin’ yours.” “Laura, get this little shit off your damn lap. He’s a plant from Hillary.” “Oh! Hillary sent us a plant? That’s nice dear. I hope it’s a good strain of indica. That’s so much nicer than the sativa we’ve been getting.” |
 photo credit: AFP/Aamir Qureshi |
“The one on the right is yours for the evening, Your Excellency.” |
Nov 28, 2007 in humor, politics, snark
 photo credit: Jim Young/Reuters |
“Ah mean, they look kinda old for goin’ to tha Any-police Academy.” |
 photo credit: REUTERS/Jason Reed |
“…of a Xanax Christmas.” |
 photo credit: AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais |
“Uh…hello? Unca Dick? Kin ya’ll come over ta mah office? Ah can’t seem ta work tha doorknob again, an’ ya’ll always say ta give ya’ll a holler when that happens.” |
 photo credit: AFP/Mandel Ngan |
er….he’s the one on the right. |
Nov 20, 2007 in snark
 photo credit: REUTERS/Jason Reed |
Now comes in a can. alternatively:
“They says mah beans is good, but mah frank needs some work.”
“Try mah beans. Or Ah’ll invade yer gol-durned country an’ take all yer oil.”
“These are Laura’s fav’rit beans. Cuz they ain’t got no ‘little pokey thing’ tryin’ ta keep her up all night.”
“When ya’ll need a li’l sumpin’ ta clear tha system, mah can’s a whole lot tastier than Laura’s!” |
Nov 20, 2007 in humor, politics, snark
 photo credit: REUTERS/Larry Downing |
…he’s “pardoning” this one, because I know I’d hate to think of our president as a cannibal. hey look! here’s proof from the original caption! “U.S. President George W. Bush (L) looks at ‘May’…” Note how they have to tell us which one is the president? isn’t it utterly fan-fucking-tastic to be an American? whoo-hoo! |
Nov 16, 2007 in opinion, politics, snark
 photo credit: AFP/Getty Images/File/Chip Somodevilla |
“My career has fallen and it can’t get up!”
|
 photo credit: Ian Waldie/Reuters |
“…Muslim hookers.” |
Nov 16, 2007 in opinion, snark
 photo credit: REUTERS/Bogdan Cristel |
“…to get a handle on fashion.” |
 photo credit: REUTERS/Larry Downing |
…what the HELL is in your pocket, Mr. President? Because it obviously can’t be your penis. Is it someone else’s penis, perhaps? yeah, eventually, you’re going to see these photos again. i’m sure some other intrepid, pocket-pool expert will beat me to it, though. i hate being so damned busy! |
 photo credit: REUTERS/Larry Downing |
“President Bush is shown rehearsing his multitasking skills of glad-handing and pocket-pool. These skills have emerged as both his foreign and domestic policies, and constitute the sum and total of his relevance in our society today.” |
Nov 08, 2007 in opinion, politics, snark
 photo credit: AP Photo/Caleb Jones |
“Is this really the size of airplane our president needs to fly off to Texas yet again to masturbate away his responsibilities for yet another extended weekend?” |
